Robb + Jessie Married & in the Badger State
the marriage bed
I’ve finally finished my last day of class as a college student and what am I thinking about? Sex, of course.
Don’t worry, I’m not breaking any commandments, but I’ve just come off a great church retreat where we discussed (among many other things) sex as Christian men. I think it is truly great that God provided such a pleasing act of oneness for a married couple. (Not to mention, the male sex drive is a great motivation tool to get guys to work hard and romance a wife the honest, righteous way.) However, it seems in large part the church has divided into two camps:
1. Sex is generally bad or looked down upon. Must be done to procreate and perhaps for pleasure, but at least it should never be talked about openly or celebrated.
2. Sex in the Bible is too limiting. Dating couples who are married “in their hearts” can have sex too. Not to mention the Bible writers didn’t know what they were talking about when they invented all those primitive rules about sex. Basically, times have changed.
Neither of those point of views fit with the biblical view of a sacred, covenantal act between a husband and wife that is to be celebrated. And somehow, I ended up a church that doesn’t fit either of those two molds. Mars Hill frankly talks about sex as a glorious creation, celebrated throughout the Bible (especially in the Song of Solomon). I’m glad that at Mars Hill unbiblical, anti-sex doctrines are rejected, while at the same time the gift of sex to married couples is wholly embraced and discussed. Yet, people are so messed and think of infinite new ways to sin that Mars Hill is also very clear about God’s rules for sex. Maybe some day I will be blessed with the covenant of marriage and be able to glorify God through this great oneness. It is truly a wonder to be created in God’s image as relational and loving beings.
For some good articles on the subject, see “Sex is Good” by the Jollyblogger. He also references an older article by Anthony Bradley, a great theologian from the black church tradition and an all around good guy.
courtship
Last night I went to a talk at Mars Hill about relationships. The biggest thing I learned was that I have a long way to go before I’m in the right place to be married.
Sometimes the old man in us dies hard. Here’s to Jesus who takes our sin and saves us!
“By the mercies of God, present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
- Paul
For those of you interested in good “rules” for relationships from a courtship-modeled, complementarian viewpoint, here is a handout that was available last night at the lecture: